Eulogy
BENEDICTION FOR A FRIEND
The following eulogy was delivered on June 15th, 2006 at St. Joseph's Church in Croton Falls, NY by OHM International's John Mullins.
My friend, Peter Gandolfo – and you’ll notice that I use the word ‘Friend’ rather than ‘Colleague’ or ‘Business Associate’ – need not be enlarged in death beyond that which he was in life. To me, no such attempt is necessary …no such enlargement is possible.
Why do I call him ‘Friend?’ A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. It is said, “Good men must die, but death cannot kill their good names.” Be that true, then my friend Peter’s name will continue to ring for a long time. For he was a man of great sincerity, personal integrity, humility, courtesy, wisdom and Christian charity.
In a life of hard work, and good fortune, he valued above all the gift of friendship … and his friendship was real and true.
So too his kindness, which at times, seem boundless. Recently, he took a very long trip to attend the wake of my mother … a woman he never knew. Truth be told, it was really unnecessary for him to do it. But he did it anyway. That’s the kind of man my friend Peter was – a man of character and great compassion.
Just as Christ built the Church on a rock named Peter, so to was OHM built on a rock named Peter. Over the years, his unwavering convictions and great optimism guided the company and kept it healthy and growing. With Peter leading OHM, we always somehow knew that OHM’s best days were ahead of us. But now, with Peter’s passing, some very fine days are behind us … and that is worth our tears.
My friend Peter has passed. The numbing secession of sad images of these recent days blurs through my consciousness like some surreal diorama, my enfeebled mind struggles to comprehend the felling of giants. A hopeless task lays before me: To assemble imperfect human words, verb after noun, in an attempt to capture and convey some small fragment, some residue of the totality of this magnificent man’s character. It cannot be done, my intentions irrelevant; my attempt, futile.
My friend Peter was a man possessed of an uncommon nobility of character. By his life’s example, we are shown that we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Our Catholic faith comforts our pain in teaching us that death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp, because the dawn of an eternity in the presence of our lord has come. Yes, for us who are left behind, death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal. And for we that loved him, Peter’s memory will live on long after the forget-me-nots have withered, because Peter forever carved his name on our hearts … not on marble.
And we look to that day when we will see him again, standing straight and true, all weariness gone, clear of mind, smiling that familiar smile of his again. And this sorrow of his parting we partake in this day, gone forever.
I will miss his kindly presence. I believe that the last words I ever heard him speak to me were, “I Love You.” To me, they are a beautiful and fitting ending to our remarkable relationship.
So Peter, my friend, I pray God that he bless you. Thank you for all you have done for me, and for all the immense and genuine kindness you have shown to me and my family over the years. Go now, my friend. Let the prayers we offer here today at this holy sacrifice of the mass, let this, our heartfelt benediction be the wings that lift your soul to the bosom of our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus.
Go now, and accept Christ’s rich reward that your life of unselfish giving has so justly earned you.
BENEDICTION FOR A FATHER
The following Eulogy was delivered on May 13th, 2021 at Our Lady of Walsingham Catholic Church in Houston, TX by OHM International’s P. Michael Gandolfo III.
On behalf of my Mother and my entire family, I want to thank everyone here for celebrating my Father’s life. Many of you have come from great distances, and we are very appreciative. Thank you also for the unending litany of prayers, devotions, rosaries, eucharistic adorations and Divine Mercy Chaplets which bombarded Heaven’s gate on his behalf. The outpouring of love and affection conveyed to my Father has been overwhelming and a source of tremendous comfort to my family.
The renowned Poet, Robert Frost, once said, “No tears for the writer, no tears for the reader.” I believe this Eulogy will put that notion to the test…
To properly convey what mattered most to my Father begins and ends with the word “Legacy.” Everything he did, everything he believed was built on the conviction that it was his duty to leave this place better than how he found it, and to direct all the souls he encountered, onto the narrow path to heaven. It is somewhat poetic that this requiem mass is being held at 9am on a weekday as for the past 30 years this is what Dad was doing every weekday at 9am. And with his strong devotion to our Immaculate Mother Mary, it is fitting that both his birth & death were in May, the month devoted to her, and this funeral is on the feast day of our Lady of Fatima. His faith was his strength. And much like his marriage vows, never wavered in good times or in bad, in sickness or in health.
-He did it right.
As an employer
Before he ever sat down at his desk, he stopped just inside his office door, faced a shrine comprised of crosses, rosaries and other religious sentiment, and he consecrated his day to the Lord. He counted his employees as family. Every morning he would stop by each office and chat with every employee about work, family & life. With me, he had oftentimes come in and wish me the Saint of the day, saying, “Happy St. Turibius of Mogrovejo Day!” “Surely you know today is his day” “Yeah Dad, Who doesn’t!” When things got tight at OHM, rather than looking at costs to cut, he first slashed his salary and benefits in half, and then asked, “will that be enough to make it work?” Everyone who knows him, knows he wore a full suit everyday and his idea for casual Fridays was no cuff-links. And while he achieved great levels of professional success, he never elevated work above Faith & Family…
-He did it right.
As a Father
He was a quiet leader and led by example. Rarely would he bluster on and on pontificating about whatever he thought we should hear, but rather he chose to show us the proper way to live. He was a provider and took pride in hard work. When things did not go his way, we rarely ever knew about it as he never complained. He was adamant in the belief that life will give you nothing but opportunities and its what you do with them that makes the difference. He was never fond of the Television and deemed it a waste of time. I cannot recall ever hearing him say, “I just binge watched 2 seasons of Game of Thrones on Netflix this weekend.” Or “Can you believe that Justin didn’t get a rose last night?” And when asked to jump into the digital age and download a social media APP to help facilitate family communication, his response was, “What’s That?” Only to receive the Abbot & Costelo response of, “No Dad it’s called ‘What’s APP?” He would just shake his head and respond, “What’s Up? Can I just call you on the phone?” However, what I CAN recall him doing with his time was:
Endless Rosaries, Twice weekly fasting, Consistent devotion to the Blessed Sacrament, Daily Mass and the giving of his time, talent & treasure.
-He did it right.
As a Grandfather
He took to heart the gospel of Matthew 19:14, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” For all 13 of his Grandchildren he and my mother instituted a birthday tradition where they would pick up our kids the night before, they would spend the night and then attend their birthday Mass in the morning, go out to lunch after and then some fun activity or shop. They did that over 100 times for all 13 kids. And on special occasions, rather than purchase any of the latest and greatest toys or video games, he rather present them a “My Saint Padre Pio Prayer Book” or a laminated card of a Saint (obscure or famous) in the hopes that they might also embrace God’s goal for them to obtain that same status. Even with his deep understanding of theology and history, he figured out a way to simplify the entire gospel for them and every time he saw them would cry out, “Jump for Joy.” He figured out how to relate to them, and they adored their Papa.
-He did it right.
As a husband
He was a prince to our Mother. He loved her with peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. He never needed to be first, nor did he ever try to win an argument…. (probably because he was wise enough to know that wasn’t possible). He didn’t clutter his marriage with endless hobbies or vices…. For him it was simple…God…Mom…Us. All day, everyday.
-He did it right.
A week or so before he passed, he was still focused on others…He asked how Mom was doing. He asked how things were going at OHM. He even still cared about my 12 year old’s soccer game asking “how did Hay-J play?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was rained out, so just told him that Hayden’s team won. (If Father Hough could throw me a quick absolution for that white lie, I would be appreciative).
Many kind souls from within this room have offered me condolences, “Mike, I’m sorry for your loss. Losing your Father is never easy.” “Yeah…my Father, my Friend, my Employer and my Hero.”
Just before he passed, Father Hough was monitoring the situation closely and adjusted his schedule to ensure Dad received his Sacramental Last Rites. In the room were Father Hough, my Mother, brother and myself. Dad could no longer speak and could barely control a pen. He slowly wrote out the word, “PAIN” We asked him, “are you in pain?” He shook his head No. He then with much effort, slowly scribbled, “When Doctor asks…” and we quickly finished his sentence asking him, “When Doctor asks about pain management?” He shook his head Yes. He then wrote the single greatest deathbed testimony anyone could ever conceive. He wrote, “I want to go through the suffering.” With nothing left to give, he still found a way to give something for the reparation of sinners. We reassured him that we would honor his wish and allow him to follow in his savior’s footsteps doing whatever he could for the benefit of the Kingdom. Father Hough then stepped in and administered the final sacrament, and clearly inspired by my Father’s devotion, did so from his knees. When completed, he and my Mother stepped out of the room leaving my Dad with just my brother on his left and I on his right. I managed to get his attention, “Dad, I don’t want you to worry about Mom. We’ve got her. We’re gonna take good care of her.” He nodded his head and squeezed tightly on our hands. I then said, “You’re the greatest human being I’ve ever known and everything that is good within me comes from you.” He squeezed harder and a tear rolled down his cheek. I then said, “Soon you’ll be home and counted amongst the saints, and I’ll be putting you to work. I expect you to intervene on our behalf and send us all available graces and blessings.” He nodded his head again as if he were ready to get right to work on that. I then got his attention one last time, while holding his hand with my right I put my left hand across his heart, looked him in the eyes and said,
– “You did it right!”
And therein lies the definition of his legacy. One built on, in & around his love for Jesus Christ, His Holy Mother Mary and his bride, The Church. And I could not think of a better legacy he imprinted on the souls he touched. In fact, that is a cause to Jump for Joy!
St. Pete…Pray for us.
